Toronto has hit record high temperatures, and while I’m sitting here sweating, the video game world is business as usual.

The last few days have been insanely hot in the Toronto, Ontario area (for all you non-Canadians, YES it does get hot here!) Temperatures with the humidex have been into the 40s (Celsius) on several occasions, and I, like many of you I presume, have been brainstorming the most effective ways to keep cool. The bit of irony in this is that I haven’t managed to kick my hot coffee addiction. Cold coffee drinks just don’t seem to do it for me πŸ™‚

In times of extreme heat, I need to get myself one of these super-resistant suits.

Anyway, as I was thinking about ways to beat the heat, I decided I would take some inspiration from the virtual world. Video game characters face all kinds of physical extremes, don’t they? Heck, I imagine that Mario was sweating buckets anytime he got near those explosive lava pits in Bowser’s castle. Seriously, when it comes to ‘braving the elements,’ I figure there is no better mentor than the characters who survive impossible feats of strength day after day, and year after year.

Except I was wrong. After a moment of quiet contemplation, I realized the truth. Video game characters are virtually impervious to the physical elements. In locales as extreme as deserts and arctic tundras, characters rarely need ‘help’ withstanding the elements.

The same unrealistic rules apply to a character’s resistance to illness. Their immune systems, too, are obviously super-powered. When’s the last time you heard Mario sneeze? Or Link complain of a headache?

I know that as figments of the virtual world, video game characters are permitted to defy physical laws. But is there any threshold at which video game characters need help beating the heat? Perhaps. Link needs a special tunic for withstanding the heat inside Death Mountain.

Not even this angry-looking sun from Super Mario 3 is enough to slow Mario down.

Samus sports a special heat-resistant suit too. But when it comes to ‘everyday’ circumstances, like sunshine and rain, video game characters have us completely beat. They never sneeze, they never get ill. They are immune to extreme weather conditions.

And on a day like today, when the heat radiating off the city pavement is essentially suffocating, the imperviousness of video game characters is unbearably smug.

Whatever their secret to beating the heat, I want in on it right away. πŸ™‚